Thank you for the support the other day. Please know, I wasn't posting it to be woe-is-me, or for garnering sympathy, or because I am not coping. Sure, my family is going through some changes at the moment and we have been under some stress, it has worn us out, we are a bit run down and unwell. I am not concerned by it, as I do know there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and in fact, life will be better for us once we get there in a few weeks time. By this point in my life, I have learnt (mostly) to take it easy on myself and my body, esp. when I am unwell. (Honestly, this is nothing on how neurotic, guilty & overwhelmed I used to get!) I dislike being sick, but I know laying around feeling miserable for myself doesn't help, and neither does rushing around trying to stay on top of everything, either. I know this current feeling of being unproductive is only temporary, and at no time, am I expecting perfection or to be a superwoman anyway. The problem can be that I tell myself to get over myself, which you know, sometimes I need a good kick in the butt. But other times, I need to allow myself the time and energy to heal myself. It’s OK to look after myself, even if millions of people around the world are in much worse positions that me.
In terms of saying I feel like a fraud sometimes, what I meant was the blog posts I had been working on during the last few weeks (the ones I haven't published), well, my heart hasn't been in it, because it all seems a tad ironic at the moment. How can I post about how our changes in eating habits are making us healthier, or how we are making sure our kids are unscheduled so they have more of our time, when it is so not true at the moment! How can I talk about my success in growing edamame, when I then find out, they ain't that good for you! I am not posting those blog posts as that would make me feel a bit dishonest. I know I am not a fraud, I pride myself on the honesty in this blog, and not ever glossing over reality. That blog post was as much as anything, to give myself a break from thinking about producing a decent quality blog post, and to let myself off the hook for now. Really, I was being lighthearted about myself, not self-deprecating at all, just showing some humour. The reason I am posting this today is that I have a hang up about not being seen as neurotic. (Yes, that is a joke!) And hey, no one complimented me on my great beetroot photos.